I’m sorry I’ve been so negative lately. Unfortunately, I don’t see it going away any time soon. I’m not quite sure what to do about the sadness I’m experiencing these days; at this point all I can think to do is ride it out. I think it’s better to work through it than try to push it aside…so that’s my plan for now. Thank you for all your love and support, I honestly feel like I’m not worthy of it…I’m having such a difficult time giving it back these days. I’ll understand if you can’t keep giving it to me. This should never be a one way street.
Along these same lines, my lack of commenting has made for a really poor performance with ICLW this time around…I guess I didn’t think I’d be in this state when I signed up. I had been doing so well for so long, and now it’s all that I can do to even turn on the computer. So those of you that came by and left words of encouragement, thank you so much, they have been really wonderful to read. This community is incredible.
In light of my last two weeks, I think we’re taking December off from trying. I just need a break from the disappointment. Besides, there are hot-buttered rums to be consumed, and I can’t spend another two weeks of not drinking just to get my period again. I’m not a huge drinker, but if I can have one thing that a pregnant woman can’t, I’ll take it, damnit!
So January we’ll hop back on this crazy train. Hopefully I’ll be in better spirits by then.
In the meantime, I’m trying to surround myself with joy and hope that it sticks.
Joy in the form of this:
Right now, it’s the little things.