So f*ing unfair.

6 Oct

One of my best friends just found out she may have to terminate her pregnancy because of a possible condition called encephaloceles that effects 1 in 10,000 pregnancies.  She just suffered a miscarriage in July and fortunately got pregnant with this baby shortly after.  The miscarriage came after a year of trying.

I am so angry this is happening to her, one of the most amazing women I know.  I just don’t understand.  My heart is breaking in a thousand pieces knowing how much she must be hurting.  Even though I know similar pain, this I can’t imagine having to go through on top of so much pain already…I am left feeling helpless.

So this is where I’m turning to all of you, this incredible community of ours….please leave her some love here, something that will allow her to feel all of your hands on her shoulders like I’ve felt on mine so many times.  Tomorrow morning she’s going in for a CVS to find out the fate of her baby she’s been trying for for so long and needs all the prayers and good thoughts we can summon.

S, I wish I could take this pain away from you.  Since I can’t, I’ll do anything I can to ease it, even a little.

Love you.

Update: they’re 99% sure they have to terminate the pregnancy.  This is just so unfair.  My heart just broke into even more pieces for her….how much is left to break at this point?

16 Responses to “So f*ing unfair.”

  1. slcurwin October 6, 2011 at 6:21 pm #

    Wow. Not a good wow. Just the idea of this has me crying and I dont even know your friend. With how much we stuggle so that we can have children, the idea of having to terminate a pregnancy is pretty much one of our worst nightmares. I’m so sorry to hear about this and I’ll be praying for her. Let us know how things go.

  2. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row October 6, 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    Since I’m already sitting in my garage, in my car, too emotionally exhausted to do anything, I am in the perfect place to send some love and light into the atmosphere. I do t understand any of this. I don’t. But I do know she is not alone. Xoxo

  3. Esperanza October 6, 2011 at 8:09 pm #

    Oh BB, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. Of all the scenarios of loss, this one I understand the least. Please know that I’m sending thoughts of strength and resolve to your friend. I’m so sorry.

  4. Kristen October 7, 2011 at 7:07 am #

    I’m so, so very sorry your friend is going through this, and that you are having to be witness to so much pain. My thoughts and prayers are with both of you. It’s so awful this is happening. Sending much love…

  5. Amanda October 7, 2011 at 11:39 am #

    Sending a prayer and love out to your friend. This is so unfair..

  6. bodegabliss October 7, 2011 at 12:00 pm #

    Thank you so much everyone. She’s really appreciating all of the prayers and love sent her way. I’m hoping it lessons the pain even a little bit.

  7. Mo October 7, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    Dear S,
    I am so incredibly sorry. This sucks. I wish there was a prettier word for it, but there isn’t. This fucking sucks.
    There is nothing I can say to make you feel better. There is no magic potion or incantation to make the pain go away.
    But you are not alone. To start, you have this amazing friend who has allowed us all to reach out to you.
    But beyond that – remember, this is not your fault. This pain, while it may not pass completely, will become duller with time. You will one day be able to look back on this with perspective.
    But until then, don’t forget that you are loved.

  8. jjiraffe October 7, 2011 at 1:39 pm #

    This is so, so awful, My heart is breaking for your friend.

    I think Mo’s words are really helpful and right. Many hugs to you, BB’s friend, and you are not alone.


  9. Port of Indecision October 7, 2011 at 2:47 pm #

    I am so, so sorry. What a terrible way to suffer a loss. I’ve been lucky enough to not have to face that decision myself, but it just seems extra cruel for it to happen this way. You’re right – it is really f*ing unfair.

  10. bodegabliss October 7, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

    You guys are all incredible. Thank you so much.

  11. starfishkittydreams October 7, 2011 at 4:27 pm #

    My heart goes out for her. I am so sorry.

  12. missohkay October 8, 2011 at 6:55 am #

    I am so sorry for your friend. I know there’s nothing I can say to make it better but we’re all with her in spirit. I wish it weren’t so difficult and heartbreaking.

  13. Sara October 8, 2011 at 5:16 pm #

    S, the tears are falling for you, my dear. Just know that we’re all here thinking about you and loving you from afar…

  14. Suzy October 11, 2011 at 3:50 pm #

    Its just so hideously unfair, to come so far and have to make a decision like that. Much love to your friend, her family, and her little one not meant to walk this earth. May he/she go peacefully with love.

  15. Hanna October 13, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

    I’m so sorry, I don’t even know your friend but I truly feel the pain, and I know all too well nothing will take that away.

  16. Elphaba October 13, 2011 at 7:41 pm #

    How did things go with your friend Court? Hoping it was good news….

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