Because they say it so much better.

7 Sep

In case you haven’t heard me say it before, I hate Facebook.  I don’t go on because it instantly makes me feel like I’m missing out on so much; not to mention every time I get coerced into signing on because for some reason people use that as their form of communication (have they not heard of email?!), I have to see someone else who is pregnant that I didn’t know about.  And, well, that’s always a bundle of laughs for me.

It’s because of my detest for Facebook that I guess I didn’t feel a huge pull to write about the Breast Cancer Awareness fiasco because I didn’t experience it firsthand.  But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t upset and confuse me, that I don’t stand behind every word the amazing women in this community of mine are saying.  It was unnecessary and at the expense of so many; I’m left baffled and justified in my decision to stay off of the Book.

Please go read these posts so you can know what I’m talking about.  Take with you that I stand behind them 100%.

Yolk: Pretending you’re pregnant isn’t cute (the original post); and her incredible follow-up posts that leave me speechless in their wake – The breast cancer game continues, Shame on you and So what’s a fertile to do?  I feel like she is able to give words to how I so often feel but fail to be able to express myself – not just with this, but with so much of this battle.

Too Many Fish to Fry:  On “That” Facebook Meme and Coming Out of the Infertility Closet  Goosebumps.

Mommy Odyssey: More Facebook Acton – In Defense of Infertiles  A good explanation of why Facebook is so hard for those of us in the trenches of this hell.

Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed: I’m 0 Weeks and Craving a Baby  Keiko offers a great alternative for a status update.  If it didn’t require me to go on Facebook and see all those pregnant women, I’d totally make it mine.

I often find that my voice in this fight against infertility and repeat pregnancy loss comes out more like a whisper among some incredibly powerful fighters.  It is times like these that I feel honored to be a part of this group.  I get shivers from your words, feel empowered by your fight, and pride overwhelms.

Thank you for being our collective voice.  Because of you, someday no one will have to feel alone when faced with this because people will be talking about it and not hiding it.  You’ve made all of this worth it.

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14 Responses to “Because they say it so much better.”

  1. Keiko September 7, 2011 at 9:40 am #

    Thanks for the kind words and linking up to my post. I know navigating Facebook while dealing with IF is like playing with fire. Thinking of you.

  2. Mo September 7, 2011 at 1:47 pm #

    I’m blushing
    and *clears throat*
    Your voice is just as powerful. Don’t sell yourself short.
    Love you!

  3. Kristen September 7, 2011 at 3:45 pm #

    Yours is such a lovely, amazing, strong voice among us! 🙂
    And I am totally with you on FB. It’s not just pregnancy, I totally feel like I am missing out on everything. My CA friends post about the surf and I cry because I can’t go surfing anymore. Someone posts pictures from their fabulous vacation and I’m so jealous, even though I get to go on fabulous vacations, too. My best friend has this cool music industry job and there are always pictures of her out seeing bands with beautiful 20-somethings. Etc. Sigh. I wish I wasn’t so envious of everyone.
    Staying off FB seems to take care of it, though.
    I love the “I’m 0 weeks and craving a baby.” Too perfect!
    XO

    • bodegabliss September 20, 2011 at 8:50 am #

      Exactly! Nothing makes me more homesick for New England than Facebook. Ugh.

  4. jjiraffe September 7, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    Thank you for the shout out. And I totally agree with Kristen and Mo: your voice is just as strong 🙂

    Also, Kristen just summed up really well what’s wrong with FB in general. It’s just a bragfest.

  5. chon September 7, 2011 at 4:30 pm #

    They did say it incredibly well didn’t they, can I also just add your last post with food instantly gained me five amazing kilos. I wish I could have tasted it tho.

  6. slcurwin September 8, 2011 at 1:04 am #

    We can be FBless together. I have yet to witness this and it’s because since I heard about it I’ve avoided FB more than normal. “I’m 0 weeks and craving a baby” that’s a friggin’ hilarious title.

  7. Hanna September 10, 2011 at 11:57 am #

    I’m not very well at the moment and have been brainlessly browsing through my usual reading . . not really absorbing the words. . but looking at the pictures, btu this was so powerful that I had to find my glasses (took a good while. they were on top of my head) and I read every word. I amd 100% behind you here.
    p,s facebook does my nut!
    much love
    Hanna

  8. starfishkittydreams September 10, 2011 at 9:36 pm #

    I couldn’t agree more. Facebook is definitely evil for so many reasons. I often fantasize about putting snarky things up there, like my latest blood test photo, of which I am still quite proud ; ).

    And how awful to mistakenly see those pregnancy shots when you are just checking a message! I swore off Facebook for a long time because of my own experiences with that. It seems like you are forced to see the status feed in order to read your personal messages. What Facebook really needs is a “hide” feature for those profile photos. Those (for me) are often worse than the status messages.

    I do feel guilty and ashamed that I can’t “handle” Facebook sometimes . With so many users happily posting, it is isolating to not be one of them. I feel bad using Facebook. And then I feel bad for feeling bad. Double whammy.

  9. Kristen September 11, 2011 at 9:42 am #

    Thanks for your comment about a doppler on my blog Friday…good idea, but I actually think would drive me crazy. 🙂 And thanks for your input over at Mo’s re: me moving. Ah, Nor Cal…I love it there, but I’m trying to narrow things down, not increase my options. 🙂 Maybe someday…how I would love to give you real hugs and hear the latest over coffee vs virtually…but for now this will have to do…
    Hope you’re doing OK today…
    XOXO

  10. cablearms September 20, 2011 at 7:15 am #

    just remember, it was your voice that led me to all these other beautiful and strong women. it’s your voice, gentle as it may be, that drew me in to care for you, and relate with you like we’ve been friends for ever. you have a great voice!!!

    • bodegabliss September 20, 2011 at 8:46 am #

      This may be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you, so much. Maybe I forget that a quiet one can be powerful as well. Your grief was exactly mine, and for some reason I felt such an instant kinship with you, I didn’t want you to feel alone in your sadness. I’m so thankful I introduced you to this group of incredible women!

      • cablearms September 21, 2011 at 6:47 am #

        you just made me tear up! I long for the day when I can actually give you a real and big bear hug. One day, I’ll be back in Cali and this will happen… one day soon, hopefully! xoxo

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. I’m a liar « Cablearms - November 10, 2011

    […] for any kind of disease, charity, or highlight one’s immense boredom with their life? Mo, Bodega Bliss and Elphaba (among others) have most eloquently and articulately written about this before.  So […]

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