An update of sorts.

1 Apr

But actually not an update at all because there’s still nothing to tell.

Day 38 and still no period.  Still not pregnant.  Stillnot.  functioning.

There are cramps…kind of.  And I’m pretty positive there are cysts because I can feel my sneezes in my ovaries (what, don’t you?).  I do have a doctor’s appointment scheduled for Monday, though.  So that pretty much guarantees that I’ll get my period later today or on Saturday.  I’m betting I’ll get it on Saturday, the moment I show up at the party, right as I meet the baby my child should have been twins with and see the woman who is pregnant even though she wasn’t even trying.  My body will choose to bleed (sorry Dad) the second I walk up to the both of them.  Like it was just waiting for that very moment to show.

Because the universe just loves to fuck with us, doesn’t it?

Can’t we get it to stop?

Haven’t I paid my dues already?

Shouldn’t it start picking on someone it’s own size?

Wait, that doesn’t sound like it would be good.  Scratch that, universe.   How about you just start being nice to me for once, okay?  Please?

I know it doesn’t sound it — but really, I am okay.  Just annoyed.  And frustrated.  And PMS-ing times a thousand for the period that will never come.

It’s like PMS on crack.  Only without the buzz.

It’s really fun!  Want to join me?

10 Responses to “An update of sorts.”

  1. Marie April 1, 2011 at 9:17 am #

    Yes, I want to join you. I am on day 46, no period, no signs of ovulation, no chance of being pregnant no nothing. STUPID BODY.

    • bodegabliss April 2, 2011 at 8:04 pm #

      I had no idea you were dealing with that, too. I’m sorry. Gah, it was awful. And SO FRUSTRATING! Don’t we have to deal with enough, can’t our bodies at least cooperate?

  2. Esperanza April 1, 2011 at 9:47 am #

    Hey Bodega! You know I mentioned owing people correspondence in my last post – YOU ARE THAT PERSON! Sorry I’ve been AWOL since we met up (which was LOVELY) but I’m just totally overwhelmed right now. Completely and utterly. But please know I’ve been thinking of you and hoping that AF shows soon (what a weird thing to think, right?) Anyway, I hope it doesn’t wait until that horrid party you have to go to to show. That would be rough. I hope you don’t stay there for long. You are amazing to go, but you don’t need to linger there. I hope you know that.

    I promise I’ll email soon!

  3. Hope April 1, 2011 at 10:23 am #

    It sounds like a really awful place to be in–that limbo of waiting for your period, especially since you’re pretty sure you’re not pregnant.

    But I don’t actually think it sounds like you’re handling it horribly. Just that you’re trying to deal with a sucky situation. I hope AF shows soon, before the party. And what Esperanza said is so true. It may be important for you to show up at this party, but you don’t have to overstay your own ability to cope. (((Hugs)))

  4. starfishkittydreams April 1, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

    I hear you! I hate the wait too. Hug.

  5. Jjiraffe April 1, 2011 at 2:47 pm #

    Ugh. I’m sorry you’re feeling crampy and PMS-y. Maybe some cream soda would help? Or, wine?

  6. Elphaba April 1, 2011 at 3:55 pm #

    So sorry AF is still messing with you. I hope she shows up soon. And you are a brave soul for going to that party. I’ll be thinking of you.

  7. Vicky April 1, 2011 at 6:35 pm #

    I’ve been there, so many times. It messes with your head so much. I hope this cycle is over quickly for you. Good luck at the party, I’m sorry things are so rough right now.

  8. starfishkittydreams April 2, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

    I have complete sympathy for your situation with your friend. Those are so difficult and seem so unfair. It’s one thing to lose a baby, but complicating friendships is another unfair burden that you don’t need to deal with.

    I had a somewhat similar situation and I too can’t be near that friend or the baby anymore and her baby was due months earlier. Two week difference is so close! No wonder it is so difficult.

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