I’ve apparently been taking weekends off from the keyboard…and yesterday, well, um, I stayed home from work because, I, um…*cough cough*…didn’t feel well. As for the weekends, I think I have a fairly good reason for stepping away — all week long I sit in front of the computer from 8:30 to 4:30, without even taking a lunch (I eat a my desk – bad Courtney!). Then, when I get home, I turn on my computer and either write a post or keep reading what I couldn’t read while at work. It can’t be healthy. The last two weekends I’ve barely turned on my computer. I briefly read a few key blogs, then walk away. And it’s been really nice. I think it helps not only my mind, but it gives my wrists a break. After 15 years of waitressing and 10 of typing on the computer non-stop, my wrists are a wreck. It’s nice to give them a break, too.
This past Sunday I met up with another fellow blogger from this world of ours, and I can’t tell you how good it was to be able to talk to someone who understands. Yes, she has gone on to have a baby, but because she’s had a loss, she acts as hope for me rather than fear. And it was the first time throughout this entire experience I’ve talked face-to-face with someone who knows exactly what it’s like to have experienced this kind of loss. Do you know how wonderful that is? We also have some common ground with the friend issues, and it was nice to compare stories and get validated that we’re not crazy for feeling like we do. I also loved that we were opening talking about our womanly organs and fluids with an old man not even a foot away from us. Now that’s my kind of girl.
And this is the part of the post where I talk about my period and bodily fluids. (Dad, feel free to step away at this point if you’re reading.) Guys, I’m on day 35 of my cycle. THIRTY-FIVE. That’s 1, 2, 3, 4, 5! days past when my period was supposed show, and I’m not pregnant (there are 4 BFNs to back me up). For the past 6 or so years I have had consistent 30 day cycles. I have never been this late without being pregnant. Unfortunately, I didn’t temp this month, either, so I have no idea if I even ovulated. There was an absence of CM for the second month in a row, so there’s a good chance I didn’t. Last month I’m pretty certain I had a large cyst on my stinking left ovary (they’re almost always on the left one), so that could be the problem. Last night I had a pretty sharp pain there as well, so maybe it never burst? I just don’t understand. Has this ever happened to any of you? When should I call the doctor? There aren’t even any signs of it coming any time soon. Although, just this morning my breasts started hurting a bit, so it might be finally coming. But this is just too abnormal for me to not worry just a little bit. Any thoughts? Oh, I also haven’t been stressed or had any strange changes to my diet, so it’s not that, either.
After a year of being completely in-tune with my body, I hate not knowing what’s going on in there. Not to mention a little bit annoyed. I mean, come on! Haven’t I dealt with enough disappointment regarding my body in the last year and half, can’t it just do this one thing right?!