A book on pregnancy loss

10 Dec

For those of you out there that have been through multiple miscarriages (or even just one), I wanted to recommend After Miscarriage by Krissi Danielsson.  It is by far the best book on miscarriages that I have found yet.  Even the title is approachable and to the point.  I really like that it’s written by someone who has had recurrent pregnancy loss, not just one miscarriage and then a healthy pregnancy the very next time.  After experiencing three losses, I’ve been searching for a book that speaks specifically to that.  The other books that I’ve read have been written mostly by doctors who only know it from the medical point of view, not the personal experience.  Danielsson has a voice I can relate to and she doesn’t sugar coat her words with hope, but still manages to inspire that in you regardless.  Her chapter on how to cope with the grief and fear was exactly what I have needed.  I highly recommend this book if you’re struggling after losing a baby (or even if you’re not struggling) or even you know someone who is and need to know more about what to say to her or what she is going through.  If you do read it, let me know what you think.

(The cover kind of bothers me, though.  Is that person in a robe behind her?  Or maybe rocking a suit jacket with a t-shirt underneath, Miami Vice style?  She looks really annoyed that his hand is on her shoulder.)

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3 Responses to “A book on pregnancy loss”

  1. starfishkittydreams December 19, 2010 at 9:00 am #

    I loved this book! It was the first one that addressed both mind and body issues and provided a first hand experience of what it was like for him to be go through the experience of miscarriage multiple times. It is definitely one of the best and most recommended books on the topic. The facilitator of our repeat loss support group recommends it regularly. I was fascinated by the history of the research. After seeing how hard it is to gather data on 1st trimester pregnancies it is no wonder that there is still so much mystery about these very early weeks/months of life.

    My new favorite book on the topic is Avoiding Miscarriage: Everything You Need To Know To Feel More Confident In Pregnancy by Susan Rousselot. I balked at the cover and title, but gave it a shot because of the 5 star reviews on Amazon. It had the perfect combination of personal stories and medical advice from someone who has personally experience multiple losses herself. She breaks down all the known causes and available treatments.

    She wrote the book because she felt like there weren’t any out there like this when she was going through it. She couldn’t find a publisher who wanted to publish it so she fronted the costs and actually self-published it. I was so impressed by it (and helped by it) that I can’t help mentioning it here as another good book to consider.

    • bodegabliss December 19, 2010 at 10:26 am #

      Oh, thanks for recommending that. I just looked at it on Amazon and yes, the cover is a bit much. I question putting a fully pregnant woman on the cover was wise for a miscarriage book! I mean, I’m sure they meant it as hope, but for most of us (and I’m not speaking for you because I’m not sure how you feel about this), we suddenly have a hatred for pregnant women. Ah! But thank you, this will be the next one I check out. Currently I’m reading Coming to Term: the Truth about Miscarriage by Jon Cohen. And seriously, it’s the most empowering one yet. I’m going to write a post about it soon once I finish it. And I’m planning on bringing the book with me to my doctor’s appointment tomorrow. It’s the first book that I’ve read that really speaks from a scientific point of view and talks to you like you’re an intelligent woman, providing real research. I highly recommend it! But you’ve been seeing an REI, so maybe you know most of that stuff anyway. He does talk about fertility clinics in the Bay Area and the cutting edge treatments they do, so that’s inspiring, too.

      • starfishkittydreams December 19, 2010 at 12:04 pm #

        I totally agree with you. The cover photo and even the title made me gag. I was insulted that you could have a book called “Avoiding miscarriage” as if we had that much control. The book ended up being a godsend as I read it cover to cover after my third loss. Filled with personal stories that are specific to each possible scenario (unexplained recurrent loss, physical issues, PCOS, immune disorders, genetics, heritary issues, even chromosomal translocation etc.), it really is an uplifting book specifically for someone who has had more than 1 loss (like the author) and who has serious fears of having another. It helped me narrow down and eliminate what was NOT my issue and then just focus on the more likely causes. Despite the misleading cover and title, I would not recommend the book for the happy pregnant woman who appears on the cover unless she’s had at least 1 loss before.

        And I understand the desire to avoid books and images of pregnant women. I avoid them too. When I am feeling most fragile I tend to notice pregnant bellies everywhere.

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