Trying to find signs

26 Jan
I haven’t really had too many convincing signs that I’m pregnant. Although, I have burst into unexplained tears twice now and both seem to have been brought on simply by a song. This morning as I was bringing K to school, Tegan and Sara’s Where Does the Good Go came on and right during the climax, I started sobbing uncontrollably even though I don’t believe I was thinking anything in particular. Thankfully, I don’t think K noticed. The first time it happened I was at the gym listening to my iPod and Ingrid Michaelson’s The Chain (the live version that is so hauntingly beautiful*) came on, and I happened to be thinking about my nephews and how if I love them this much I’m not sure if I can handle loving someone even more….and the tears just started falling. I was mid-stretch fortunately, so I could put my head down so no one would notice. But it was overwhelming, the emotion that was brought on by a few passing thoughts and a voice singing in my ear. It might be a long road, these 9 months and all the tears that might come with them. I’m not even sad! In fact, I’m the opposite. I’m thrilled! (Also with a little nervousness thrown in the mix, of course. And a dusting of fear. And a sprinkle of anxiety.) But sad? No. Just don’t try and tell my hormones that…they’re not going to listen. They just want to throw on Clem Snide, put on some sweats, crawl into bed with some cookies, wallow in self-doubt and misery, and cry.Oh joy!Also, I do seem to suddenly have a superpower sense of smell. So please take a shower, or else I’m going to smell you from a few towns over. Thanks.———-

*Sara, have you heard this? Every time I hear it, I think how much you need to hear it if you haven’t already. When I listen to it, I can picture you clearly singing along to every line with that beautiful voice of yours (and of course, me sitting right next to you singing at the top of my lungs with that retched voice of mine while in line at a toll booth in Canada). I will send it to you if you haven’t. It needs to be in your life.


3 Responses to “Trying to find signs”

  1. Megan January 26, 2010 at 7:35 pm #

    How was the Dr today?

  2. Courtney January 26, 2010 at 8:26 pm #

    I'm heading there in a few hours, I will let you know! Wish me luck!

  3. planeangel January 30, 2010 at 8:16 pm #

    No…I hadn't heard that song before this, but I am playing it on youtube right now…it's beautiful! I am in a hot and sweaty frijole right now getting my toll change ready 🙂

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